How to Stay Motivated as a Stay-at-Home Mom
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I have quite the week ahead of me. Aaron’s birthday is in one week and Evelyn’s birthday is the day after his. That’s right. My daughter was born the day after my husband’s birthday. For the rest of my life I get to plan both of their birthdays at the same time. (Send help!)
All that craziness aside, I wanted to focus in a bit on something I had mentioned in a recent article. This is not a topic I choose just because I am a stay-at-home mom. I’m also a toilet cleaner but you won’t catch me writing articles on that because it’s not something I’m passionate about.
I am, however, passionate about being a stay-at-home mom.
I never thought I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom when I was younger. I never gave much thought to it at all, but once I got married and Aaron and I started discussing how we would raise our family, it really just seemed like the only way.
I’ve always enjoyed working outside the home and there are still days and weeks (even months) where I miss it terribly. I actually had a really tough time transitioning to staying at home full time (read How to Transition to Life as a Stay-at-Home Mom to learn more about how I conquered that).
Now that my daughter is with me all the time I hardly have time to even think about what it would be like to work outside the home again, but I definitely have days where I envy my husband’s job. He gets to drive to and from it alone each day, enjoy an uninterrupted lunch break, and converse with real life adults. All are things I gave up for this beautiful mom life.
Find Your Why
What keeps me motivated the most as a stay-at-home mom is remembering why I do it.
Of course, staying organized in my planner and keeping to our schedule helps me tremendously, but the thing that helps me the most when I’m having a more challenging day at home for whatever reason is reminding myself why I chose to stay home.
First of all, it is a choice. I could very well enroll my daughter in a daycare and find a job. That’s not something we wanted for our family.
My husband and I chose to have me stay home for many reasons and they are all beneficial to us and our daughter.
I’m the one responsible for Evelyn.
This is number one. All the other reasons set aside, it’s worth it for us to have me stay home so that I am the one personally taking care of our daughter. I know there are great nannies and daycares out there, but nothing beats me being the one giving Evelyn what she needs every day. I never have to wonder if she’s being tended to the way I would tend to her. I’m a first time mom and far from perfect but I love that I’m the one showering Evelyn with love every day and helping her experience life.
Saving money on childcare.
I realize some mom’s go back to work for pure financial reasons. This is understandable, but these days, childcare costs so much. Unless you make the majority of your family’s income, you may be better off staying home rather than paying a daycare.
Aaron and I have worked hard to make it work with me not working. If finances are keeping you from staying home like you’d like, you may enjoy reading Tips to Live on One Income.
Free Evenings & Weekends.
We love getting to spend time together as a family in the evenings and on the weekends instead of tackling household chores and errands. Aaron and I used to go to the store together when we got off work and divvy up the house work, but now that I stay home, we get to enjoy a lot more time relaxing together. All the house work still gets done, but it’s done by me during the day while Aaron is at work. Having me at home has brought freedom to our family time that we all appreciate.
We don’t have to miss anything.
I can officially tell you that the fastest year of my life has been the one with a child. Once Evelyn was born it felt like time shifted into fast forward. Thankfully, with me being home, I’ve had the joy of witnessing Evelyn’s firsts and I’ve been able to record many of them and share them with Aaron. I’d hate to look back and have to hear it from a caregiver that Evelyn said her first word and called someone else Mama.
What an honor to be her mentor, teacher, and biggest fan.
Someone else is not taking care of my child.
This may seem redundant, so let me explain.
When I think of me being responsible for Evelyn (as mentioned above) I don’t just think of all the fun I have with her and the adorable things she does. I also can’t help but think of the days she is committed to throwing a fit, destroying the house, and boycotting her food. It’s not always a perfect day, but I’m thankful that I get to be there to teach her in the hard times, too.
Sure, it’d be nice to have someone else step in and clean up after her and teach her right from wrong, but that’s all part of the package and it’s a huge responsibility that I’m thankful for. I have the confidence that each and every day she’s receiving the values that Aaron and I want instilled in her. There’s no difference of techniques or opinions because we’ve created the environment she’s learning and growing up in.
That, to us, is priceless.
Now please understand, I am not bashing working moms. I truly believe that being a stay-at-home mom is not right for everyone. If you do determine that it’s right for you, I only want to help that dream come true. So whether you’re a working mom dreaming of becoming a stay-at-home mom, or you’re a stay-at-home mom learning to make it work, I hope this resonates with you and encourages you in your decision to be a stay-at-home mom.
On the not so pretty days (which we do have), I remind myself of my why and it humbles me. It helps me view things through eyes of gratitude instead of comparison, and it gives me that much more patience with Evelyn to be the mom I want to be for her.
What’s your why?
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